The Road To Self-Esteem is Through Self-Confidence

Self-confidence and self-esteem are closely connected to each other but they are not the same things:

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Positive self-esteem is viewing yourself as a competent and worthy person, and feeling good about yourself.

Self-confidence is the belief of believing in yourself; to believe that one is able to accomplish what one sets out to do, to overcome obstacles and challenges.

The best way to clearly differentiate between self-esteem and self-confidence is this:

Self-esteem is focused on your worth and self-confidence is focused on your potential.

You can build your self-confidence EVEN IF you have low self-esteem. Additionally, in the process of developing your self-confidence you will gain self-esteem.

Potential is what is possible vice what is actual.  Most people suffering from low self-esteem suffer from low-esteem because they realize there is a greater potential that exist (for them).  Without the existence of potential there is nothing to have low self-esteem about. We value our worth based on our expectations, level of accomplishments, competence, success, knowledge etc. on the scale of what we feel our potential is. To reach your potential you must believe in yourself; you must have self-confidence. As you start to reach your potential you will naturally gain more self-esteem.

I know this might all sound confusing so here are some examples:

Example #1:   A common sign of low self-esteem is walking around hating yourself and wishing that you were someone else or living a different life. The “different” life this person is wishing for is the potential of what they want their life to be.  What they lack is the self-confidence (and the plan) to make changes in their life to have the life they dream about.

Zombie Self-Esteem by Mark Stivers

Example #2: A person who always requires constant validation and thinks other people are better than them is someone we consider as a person with low-esteem. This is actually a person who hasn’t realized, acknowledged or accepted their potential – a person who is afraid.  Being afraid is a sure sign of a lack of self-confidence.  This person needs to develop greater self-confidence and in turn they’ll have more self-esteem.

Example #3: Here is something you’d expect a person with low-self esteem to say: “I could disappear from the surface of the earth, and nobody would notice.” A person who feels they haven’t accomplished anything or left any type of mark in their life would say something like that – someone who hasn’t lived up to or explored their potential. This is someone who needs to do something of significance with their life in order to feel some self-worth but what they need to develop first is the self-confidence to do something!! What keeps people from accomplishing what they wish they would do is a lack of self-confidence.

Focus on Your Self-Confidence

The way to increase your self-worth, therefore your self-esteem is by doing; by making the change or changes you need to make.  People who lack self-confidence lack the ability to make changes because they are afraid. To make changes, to grow, to develop, to better yourself – to go after your potential you need self-confidence.