It seems in the past week that everyone I’ve encountered and been discussing confidence with have had one major issue in common; they are obsessed with what other people are thinking. Thinking and worrying about what other people are thinking about you is a sure sign you have low self-confidence. It’s also happens to be very futile and pointless.
What you clearly need to do in order to stop worrying and thinking about what others are thinking of you is to develop true and impeccable self-confidence. However, developing the type of confidence you need to possess is a process which takes time, therefore, I’m going to address some other things you can do, to at least cut back on this bad habit.
Five Things to Consider Before You Worry About What Other People Are Thinking About You
People Are Busy Thinking About Themselves: First off, like I said, thinking about what others think of you is absolutely futile and pointless because you have NO WAY of knowing what another person is thinking. However,we do know human beings are for the most part very self-centric in nature. Meaning, it’s more likely that someone you are talking to is interested in and pre-occupied with thinking about themselves and what they have going on. Only in YOUR head does the world revolve around YOU!!
Projecting Your Own Insecurities, Judgments and Opinions Upon Yourself: It’s all in your head and it’s all about you. What you think and worry about what another person is thinking about you is actually what you are thinking and projecting upon yourself. The only thoughts you know for sure about – are your own thoughts…so when you are worrying about what another person is thinking of you – you are inserting YOUR thoughts into the equation. Stop worrying about what other people are thinking about you and start worrying about you are thinking of yourself! Listen to those thoughts you are having and figure out if those thoughts are how you feel about yourself.
Be in the Moment and Listen to the Conversation: When you are busy thinking about what someone else might be thinking about you – you are not being present, genuine or a good listener. You are being consumed with yourself and are being extremely self-centric. You are missing out on the conversation taking place and the real things that are being said. When you find yourself starting to think about what another person is thinking about you in the middle of a conversation…stop yourself and get refocused on what the person is actually saying.
You are Judgmental and Opinionated of Others and Assume Others Are The Same Way: Hopefully this isn’t you, but another type of person who constantly worries about what others are thinking about them is the type of person who is constantly judging and thinking ill and badly of others. It’s very natural for this type of person to be worrying about what others are thinking of them because they go around thinking all sorts of things about other people. If this is you…Stop. Every time you start being judgmental or thinking things you don’t need to be thinking, catch yourself and stop thinking them. If you are thinking things you need to actually be saying then say them!! Be brave enough to say what you think.
Simply Stop Caring: If by chance what I’ve mentioned so far won’t work for you – here’s a real simple thing you can do. Stop Caring. The only opinion that matters is your own. Even if you know for a fact that the person you are interacting with is thinking thoughts about you – don’t worry about them. Those are their thoughts. Don’t let those thoughts get into your psyche and impact you. Have your own thoughts about yourself. Work on building your confidence and this part becomes very easy!
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I just went into conditioning for a sport, but i am not really joining. I went there to try to lose weight. But I had to stop running because I was so tired. I stopped and now I feel really embarrassed to show my face to them all. I can’t stop thinking about what other people are saying about me. Like why is she there if she isnt going to join or she stopped she can’t handle it. I am really embarrassed cause this teacher has the look of dissappointment on his face and I have him for another class and I feel like he doesnt like me because I am weak. And he doesnt want to have anything to do with me. Help, am I suppose to think about these thoughts? There is another conditioning on thursday and I can’t go because I have a meeting for college and I am thinking that everyone’s going to think that I am not going back because I quit. I am so upset right now, but apart of me feels like I let myself down and now I don’t know who to talk to about this because I don’t really have anyone to actually give me advice or tell that everything will be okay? I feel so weak and I think I let everyone see that, but I just want to let myself out? What should i do?
I can say with certainty that you are projecting what YOU think of YOURSELF unto others and back to yourself. People come and go in all types of group fitness and organizations – it’s the nature of the beast so other people don’t bother with it much at all. Not all sports or all exercise groups are for everyone. Also, if you think that someone really wants to have nothing to do with you…the best thing you can do is ask them. Don’t drive yourself crazy thinking about it.
But back to what you think of yourself and are projecting – you say you are upset with yourself, you have let yourself down, you feel weak and you just want to let yourself out. You need to look deeper into why you feel this way. Did you quit the conditioning class because it was too hard? Did you give up on yourself? Did you take the easy way out? If so, why? If not…then let it go. If the class was too hard – find something more at your level to start with or go to the instructor and talk to them about how you’re feeling and why this is so difficult.
What’s happening is that you do feel alone in this and disappointed and you are afraid to talk to the people that could help you. There is NOTHING wrong with letting others see our weaknesses and allowing them to help us. I’m not sure what your level of fitness is but you have to take it at your own pace and work from there.
Don’t quit and don’t give up. Stop psyching yourself out about what others are thinking. It’s not what they are thinking – it’s what you are thinking about yourself. Change the dialogue you use for yourself. Be more encouraging and supporting of yourself – it will make a world of difference.
Hope that helped! You should definitely look into signing up from one of the upcoming Loop of Confidence Webinars. It would make a big difference in your life!
hello,
I am a student in grade 11, I have been in school for 10 months. I have a ginormous amount of fear in what other students and teachers think of me. For the 10 months I have been in my school, i do not talk to a few people in my class because of the fear of being judged. I try to ignore what i think they think of me however I do not know how to stop it completely. I am really looking forward for a suggestion.
Thanks
Hi Mumu,
I would be more than willing to do a call with you to help you with this. Would you like to do that? We really need to first establish what YOU think of YOURSELF. It’s quite possible you are judging yourself so harshly, you are projecting that back to yourself through what you think other people think of you. A lack of self-confidence does lead to over caring what other people think of us. Are you on Skype?