A few semesters ago I took a sociology class called “Current Social Problems” – it was quite an eye opening class. The discussions on the social construct of current social problems and on violence against women were particularly interesting…I’ll be explaining why in a second. An article on the Bryn Mawr website made me think of that class because of some of the comments made in the article titled: Women’s Self-Confidence: The Obstacle to Achieving Gender Equity in Public Service?
Here are some excerpts from the article:
“During the colloquium’s second panel discussion, Vice Admiral Carol Pottinger spoke about her struggle with self-confidence early on in her career and marked this issue as a great challenge to her ability to succeed as a young woman. Once Pottinger gave voice to this issue, her fellow panelists and later speakers echoed her story. Women’s self-confidence, or lack thereof, became a dominant point of discussion at the colloquium, with several women of power in public service urging the young leaders in the audience to work to overcome any lack of confidence in order to be able to participate in public service with pride and the assertiveness necessary for effectively sharing one’s vision for global governance.”
… “Kathleen Sebelius, the US Secretary of Health and Human Services, knocked on the small table beside her chair and stated, “I know men in politics who are less bright than this table but they have no problem asserting themselves with confidence.”
…”My one critique of the colloquium was that this “self-confidence issue” was not discussed in a manner that explicitly examined the relationship between normative gender roles and the socialization of women and girls that produces such a disparity in confidence. Women and girls are not born inherently lacking confidence. We are “taught” from a young age to lack belief in our vision and abilities by the media and pervasive gender norms; these influence everything from the toys we play with as children to the professions we feel able to aspire to”
I have a bit of a problem with the last paragraph…same way I had some problems with the conversations that took place in my sociology class. I find it harder and harder to accept normative gender roles and the socialization of women and girls has a justification for having a lack of self-confidence and assertiveness. Many women before our time asserted themselves and have set the way for others to do the same. What made them so special? Many were raised under strict conditions but still stood up and spoke out.
Self-confidence development is a very conscious decision. Self-confidence is developed through accomplishments, facing your fears, knowing yourself, mastering your thought process and the type of inner dialogues you have with yourself. Self-confidence can be developed under all kinds of conditions.
However, making excuses and choosing to be afraid won’t get you there. I believe some social inequalities are partially caused by the way our society is structured however; anything that can be internally changed through personal effort and growth is an individual problem.
You know at an early age if you lack self-confidence, can’t assert yourself, and are scared to go after the things you desire or say what’s on your mind. As soon as that realization comes to you – the responsibility to do something about it is YOURS. There are books, sites, programs…to help you. I know quite a few women who lack self-confidence and they aren’t lining up to take my course. It’s hard work, very worthwhile hard work that you must stop making excuses about.
Yes, I believe parents need to be taught how to instill confidence in their children. But, if that doesn’t happen – you become a young adult and you start having control over what you decide to learn and improve about yourself. You don’t have to look far now in our society to find strong & confident women. Social gender norms that are maintained are often selected because they are easier than change.
The advice of the women on the panel to their young female audience was to take every opportunity they could find to build their confidence; very worthwhile advice.
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